The voice that you just heard was my Dad, your Grandfather, who isn't alive anymore.

I found a dictaphone whilst I was sorting through his belongings after he died. It is the only recording of my father's voice I have. At the time the recording was made he had had many strokes and wasn't the man he used to be when he was only a few years younger.

The lady's voice in the recording belongs to Auntie Helen, who was his girlfriend and looked after him until his death.

I want you to remember me better than I remember my father when I am gone.

This following collection of images is the beginning of me creating something that you one day may be able to revisit and remember me by.

This project began when I travelled to Nigeria during your first Christmas, you were 6 months old and I felt emotional about the trip.

Why?

Because it was your first Christmas and I felt guilty about  leaving you. I was travelling to Nigeria for the first time and that was where your Grandfather was from. At the time I felt very emotional about fatherhood: being your father and not screwing it up. This is something that you may or may not feel if you become a father; I hope you do become a Dad.

I wish I knew my father on a deeper level better. I don't want you to think that I was completely fatherless, because I have a lot of memories of my Dad, but now that you are here I have a longing to know him better, because he was distant and not always there. I am learning now that being a father means being present and dependable.

When I was in Nigeria I kept a diary, I thought that this would be a perfect opportunity to express myself. This project has evolved like a lot of creative endeavours do. Originally, I wanted to make you a collection of postcards from these words. The physical postcards were going to be indestructible, because you are a kid and you will ruin paper, but now I have made you an online project that can live on my website forever, unless the internet disappears, so who knows? I might make a hard copy for you in the future too. I imagine that you will be able to revisit the website when you feel like you need to remember me.

I have also incorporated some images of your Grandad. These images are passports and they probably create more questions than answers. But I think they are interesting, because passports are a formal documentation of who you are: your date of birth, your place of birth (in Grandad's case occupation) and an image of you at the time.  I think this is a good place for you to know where you are from and who I came from.